


I won’t let you die

by TessaKenway



Series: There isn't always a happy end [2]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Death, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, One Shot, Sad, You should read part 1, more or less
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-03
Updated: 2015-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-02 17:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4068421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TessaKenway/pseuds/TessaKenway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Mike told Harvey about his cancer, Harvey took care that Mike came in the best hospital. And now he visits him with their son.</p>
<p>You should read "I take care of him" first but I guess you can also read this alone.<br/>Don't read if you can't deal with sadness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I won’t let you die

Harvey stands in front of the white door, unable to do something. Behind this small hospital door lays his partner, his lover, his husband and his best friend. „Shouldn't we go in, Dad?“, a slight voice asks carefully and Harvey smiles down to Gabe, who holds his hand. His son has this look of expectancy in his blue eyes, he badly wants to see his daddy again. Since Mike was brought into the hospital, Gabe didn't see him that often. He has so much to tell him. 

Harvey presses Gabe's hand slightly and opens with the other hand the door slowly. Even in the hospital bed, connected to a few machines, Mike grins to Harvey like nothing happened. Like he isn't going to die, as if everything would be alright. But Mike sees that Harvey changed, he directly recognize the dark circles around Harvey's brown eyes and he seems to have a few more wrinkles than before. Harvey is a shadow of him's former self and Mike could see it even under the grin that his husband gives him. His eyes say that he feels something entirely different. And he is right. Harvey feels like crying. He didn't expect that would be so hard to see Mike again and to see that his life is nearly over. The doctor told him that Mike will not live so long anymore. They give him a week, probably less. This kind of cancer they can't cure. Even Harvey doesn't believe them, he can't see stand to see Mike like this. 

The only person who is really happy is Gabe. He relinquishes his dads hand and runs as fast as he can to his other father. „Daddy!!!“, Gabe shouts loudly and hugs Mike excited. His smile becomes even brighter and he also lays his arms around his son. „I missed you too, shorty“ „I have to tell you so much!“, Gabe says excited and Mike strokes his sons hair affectionately. „Of course you have. But could you tell me this later? I have to speak with your dad for a few minutes,“ Mike answers and looks to Harvey, who still stands in the corner of the room without making any movement. He doesn't even look in Mike's eyes. „But I want to speak with you now, daddy. I haven't speak with you for ages!“ Gabe is more disappointed than angry but after another look from Mike, he slowly takes his arms away from him. „Later okay? Then you also can tell me in detail, what you got at your birthday.“ Gabe just nods, he still isn't happy. 

Mike sees it directly and gives him a excusing kiss on his little forehead, what makes him smile again. He really missed his fathers kisses. Gabe leaves his fathers bed and with a last look to his both fathers he leaves room, where Donna already waited for him. She knew that it isn't easy for Harvey, it isn't easy for anyone. So she is there to support her best friend and to take care of his son is a part of it she doesn't mind. 

Inside of the room nothing happens, literally nothing. They both don't know what to do but Harvey is stone still. „Did Gabe like his gift?“, Mike asks after a few minutes nervously. He isn't used to see his husband like this. „Yes“. Harvey nods slightly, he isn't able to have eye-contact with Mike. Not now. „That's cool“ Mike answers slowly, he isn't sure how he should react. The silence is back. Harvey doesn't know what he has to do. At the day of the interview Harvey promised himself to keep an eye on Mike, to do everything for him. And he failed. Mike lays here and he can do nothing to change this. And he tried everything. Mike is in the most expensive hospital Harvey could find, he has the best doctors at all but it doesn't help. 

„Harvey, please say something“, Mike's voice is nearly a whisper. „It isn't your fault.“ Harvey raises his head, the gaze is a mix of sadness and anger. He isn't angry on Mike, he is angry on himself. „Of course, it is. I should have protected you!“ „But you did everything you could. Sometimes not even this is enough.“ Mike smiles sadly. Harvey finally moves, he goes to Mike's bed and sits down on the edge of the bed. „There has to be something I can do for you?!“ Harvey says desperate and lays his head slowly on Mike’s chest. He hears his heart beating, a familiar and calming sound. How many times did he spend with listing to Mike's heartbeat? Every night since they came together, Harvey lays his head on Mike's chest to hear his heart. The last days he couldn't barely sleep, he missed him too much. Their bed was cold without him. 

“But you can do something for me”, Mike kisses the back of Harvey's head. “Anything”, Harvey means it like he says it. He owes Mike so much in his life. Because of him he was completely happy in his life, for the first time ever. Not to mention that he gave him Gabe. Harvey doesn’t cry but he already has a single tear in his eyes. 

“Take care of Gabe” Harvey raises his head when he hears these words. “Of course I will. But I want to know what I can do for you.” “Just take care of Gabe, that's completely perfect and enough. For me isn't any hope.” Mike starts sobering. “And find someone new. Be happy again” Harvey can’t take it anymore. He is sad and Mike's words sound so final, so that the anger comes back. The anger on the cancer, on the death of Mike. “Mike, that's what you want to hear? That I wont miss you? That I wont think of you and me for the rest of my life? Because that’s what’s going to happen. You’ll stay in my head ‘till the day I die.” “Harvey…”, Mike starts softly but Harvey doesn’t let him speak. “No, just don’t say anything. This isn’t a goodbye. You will stay alive, I won’t let you die. I promised myself that I’d care for you and I.. I…” Harvey’s voice breaks, he can’t take it anymore. 

“and you did it so well. You can’t do anything against cancer. That’s even for you a big too much.” Mike finished his sentence smiling. “But if I would try it harder…” Harvey starts again. As always he blames it on him. It was his fault. “That wouldn’t have changed something. It’s cancer, Harvey. It’s fucking cancer not an opposing counsel.” Harvey rises his head from Mike's chest. Trying not to show Mike his tears, he turns his face away from Mike. But Mike still see it. He knows how his husband looks when he cries, even when it doesn't happen so often. 

Maybe five times? But one time he will always remember. It was when Harvey cried at Gabe's birth. Harvey still thinks that Mike didn't see how he had tears in the eyes when he took Mike's son in his arms the very first time. How Harvey's eyes were wet and full with tears of happiness. But he still acted like there was nothing. He swept his tears away with his arm but Mike saw it. That was one of the moments Mike will miss. Fuck, he also doesn't want to go but he has no choice right? He knows that Harvey did his best and that this isn't going to change. Mike knows how controlled his husband is, he will come clear with Mike's death. Mike want to believe this, to make it easier for him. He knows that Harvey good enough to know that he isn't hardhearted. Harvey is, when you know him good enough, one of the best person at all. 

Yes, everyone knows how witty, cocky and handsome he is. But Mike looked under this surface and wow. Harvey is a unbelievable caring man and it always breaks Mike's heart to see how he acts with Gabe, even when he isn't his biological son. Or maybe because of this fact. Every evening Harvey sits at Gabes bed and reads some fairy tales to him. Mike just stands in the door frame and listen, he doesn't even know if Harvey knows that he is always there. He loves how Harvey speaks every single character in another voice and how he lays his arm around Gabes shoulder as if he could protect him. Why does he has to leave them? He will never see again how Harvey licks his fingertips to turn the pages, how he kisses Gabe's forehead to calm him down. Such little things. 

Not to mention how much he will miss him when it comes to their love. How much he will miss the kisses, the cuddles... The moments when they both just look in each others eyes, without saying a word. They did it before they even came together but Mike will never be used to them. Right now is such a moment. Harvey sat down on the plastic chair next to Mike's bed and just looks him in the eyes. They both say nothing again but it is different. Not that they accept whats going to happen, not at all, but they realize how real it is. Harvey loves Mike's blue eyes, he always did. Even now when his husbands eyes are weak as well as the rest of the body is, his eyes are still amazing. Suddenly Mike grabs for Harvey's hand and takes it in his own weak and smaller one. “I am tired”, says Mike calmly and gives Harvey a little smile. 

“Come here”, Harvey says tenderly and Mike holds the blanket up to let him slide under it to him. As soon as the warm blanket covers him, Harvey lays his arms around Mikes chest and Mike does the same. “I don't want to leave you”, Mike whispers quietly into Harvey's ear. “Then don't”, Harvey simply answers, hugging his beloved husband even more. 

“I love you Harvey”, Mike adds. “Rookie...”, Harvey says with his typical Harvey Specter-Ross grin. But he also feels how Mike becomes weaker and weaker in his arms. “Say it, Harvey. Please say it.” His voice is pure sobering. “Mike, you don't die now. Okay? Stay with me!” He looks in his husbands eyes and see how they slowly close. “Just say it”, Mike whispers desperately, laying his head against Harvey's shoulder. Now not even Harvey can deny it any longer. 

He knows what happens right now and so he kisses Mike's forehead, mumbling: “Mike, I...” but Mike's breath stops before he can finish the sentence. His wonderful blue eyes lighten up for one last moment and all he can see is his husband. His fingers slide out of Harvey's hand. And he dies with a smile because he knows exactly what Harvey wanted to say even when doesn't hear it anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> It took me some time to write another chapter, I am sorry for this.  
> But I hope you guys like it!


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